So many probably most have no idea what happened to me or why I dissapeared for awhile and haven’t been around much lately.
I know that @Poppy has been tracking me around the world.
I actually never took a vacation. I left and that’s when everything began to go horribly wrong for me it has been a difficult situation.
I had some medical issues that were pretty serious to me physically and mentally. I was down and haven’t been eating or training. I dropped a bunch of weight and I lost muscle mass. It has been a difficult recovery which im still dealing with a bunch of doctor appointments, blood draws, hospital visits, and so on its been crazy and it took away the thing that I believe keeps me sane and healthy my ability and even want to train. I just don’t have the energy or honestly the drive that I had before, everything is different now for me I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I want to get back to being a MONSTAR not a lazy fatass which is what I feel is taking over I need to get back to training full sessions. I might have to lower all my weight amounts and try to catch back up to where I was I now can understand again how bad it is to catch an injury that takes away what you love. I won’t let that happen though and I believe strongly that everyone at ugmuscle has my back and will help out there brother in this time of need.
I wanted to start this log because I have fallen so far off that I need some accountability or im afraid that im going to end up being 260lbs of straight fat again lol that’s if I can start to eat normally again smh.
I am starting from scratch is how I feel because I truly feel like im dying im not but I feel like I have no strength, no energy, and no drive anymore to even hit the weights. I have been training but my training is laughable im not actually training when I don’t finish my workout or if I just skip completely. Im not going to make an excuse that im to weak I can lift some amount of weight just not what I was so I can’t make that an excuse to myself I have been and it stops now.
I believe that with time I will be back to hitting it hard but I need help. I need my brothers and sisters to make sure I don’t give up please hold me accountable follow this log if im not doing what needs to be done please push
I need this help if I give up training and staying in shape I will be lost and alot of bad things can happen when I feel lost and I never want to be like that or like how I feel now ever again so this will be my comeback.
1 Start training as best as possible
2 work on my eating habits I have been eating nothing some days. I need to atleast eat 2x a day to start and then atleast get back to normal eating.
3 once I get back to health get TRT going and get my test levels atleast at 1000 < or > and I believe this will help alot I believe that my hormones not being correct are causing some of the problems im experiencing
4 once back in normal health im going to push for exceptional health. I will only be using testosterone and possibly 1 of this list proviron, primo, drostanolone. This is very far off probably 6 months to get myself in shape to run a cycle because im far behind I won’t start anything until im back to eating and training normally.
5 Feel like a MONSTAR again
Those are my first 5 goals to complete and get myself pointing in the right direction.
Today is Monday chest day I will try to complete
Incline bench dumbbell
Flat bench barbell
Decline bench dumbbell
Incline dumbbell flies
Flat dumbbell flies
I tried last Monday and failed to complete this session I will lower the weight and reps to work on completing.
If anyone has suggestions on anything I should do in the situation with trying to come back I know alot of us have had injuries that have put us down and set us back. I would appreciate any tips to get me or keep me going?
Thanks for reading this nonsense lol smh